a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
