Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
