You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
