i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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