sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm both gender and math confused
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
