what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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