I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
