just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
