i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
