why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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