Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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