we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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