And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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