I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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