first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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