She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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