The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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