i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
