There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
