i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
