they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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