he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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