i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
