bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
