He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
