Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
