The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
