Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
