It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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