The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
