Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
