real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
