All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
