Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
