Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
