Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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