Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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