You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
