I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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