That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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