Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
