Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
