Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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