it wasn't lemon gatorade
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
