just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
