I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
