Jerry, you need to find god
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
