sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
worst night to have a conscience
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
