shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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