whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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